COVID19: Stability in Times of Uncertainty
Of late, I awake early each morning and remind myself, “Oh yes, another day in isolation,” feeling a little as if I am starring in my own version of the movie Groundhog Day. Bill Murray plays the grumpy, critical and self-inflating weatherman Phil in the film. Every morning he awakens only to find himself exactly repeating the previous day in his unhappy self-absorbed life, which in this case is Groundhog Day. He hates Groundhog Day because every year he has to go to Punxsutawney, PA to record Punxsutawney Phil’s weather prediction, an assignment he finds demeaning. The part of his predicament that feels familiar to me right now is leading a more narrow, restricted routine devoid of some of the usual activities in my external life that bring fun, change, and even surprise. Life is different now, so I adapt and make changes. For instance, I remind myself of no daily commutes in traffic, which allows me to get in an extra walk, which is especially pleasant since there are so few cars on the streets. I have no social or professional meetings in and out of the office now, so I create social distance coffee dates with neighbors or virtual sessions with friends and colleagues. Thank goodness for technology!
One wonders how long will this last. There is so much that is unknown. Add that to living in isolation and social distancing during this global crisis caused by COVID19, you have a recipe for great apprehension, anxiety, fear and loneliness and more. Do we have enough supplies of bathroom tissue, paper towels, and the precious disinfectant wipes, not to mention fresh food? We feel grateful if we can work from home, even though the children need attention and there are other new stressors on the family. How do we get through these days until our life returns to “normal”? What will the new normal be? Will there be work for you or your loved ones? So many critical questions with so few answers, what to do?!
In this article are tips for staying stable while socially distancing and isolating, organized into “Consideration for You as An Individual”, “Considerations for You Living within Your Household”, and Considerations for You Living in the Greater Community”. Each of these categories is further subdivided into tips for “Things to Do” and “Thoughts for Greater Self Awareness”. On planet Earth there is always good and bad in everything. Now is a great time to start finding and focusing on the good. Even if you are a socially active person, there are ways to comply with social distancing and isolation yet still connect with others.
The first and the most important step is to take all necessary personal precautions to protect you and your loved ones. Everything else you do will be impacted by this imperative foundation. This is essential to building a psychological sense of well-being and stability. The World Health Organization (WHO), the Centers for Disease control (CDC), and your local and state governments set forth these guidelines. Choose wisely where you obtain your information as inaccurate information abounds on the Internet and on social media sites. False and inaccurate information spreads fear and paranoia. Such feelings are contagious as well as dangerous to finding emotional stability. By following the recommended safety procedures you begin to build a foundation of confidence about protecting yourself and your loved ones.
Considerations for You as an Individual
Things to do:
Keep yourself busy. Staying busy helps prevent your mind from the endless spiral of worry, which we will get to later. Now is a good time to tackle all of those home projects that your busy schedule never allows. After completion of each task you will enjoy the feeling of accomplishment when you check off something else your to do list.
Clean all the nooks and crannies of your home. Now is a great time for Spring-cleaning. Be sure to include the entire family.
Organize all of those drawers and closets that normally you never have time to organize. Throw out what you don’t need. Save things in a certain area to be donated later to your favorite charity. Throwing out, reorganizing, and cleaning are good Feng Shui practices that will help you create a healthier happier space for yourself today and going forward
Mend clothes, like those jeans that lost a button or that pair of pants you haven’t been wearing because the hem is raveling out.
Catch up on your reading. Attack that stack of books next to your bed that has been waiting for you.
When at the grocery store, or ordering your groceries be sure to include a fresh bouquet of flowers. Nothing is more beautiful in a clean, organized home than fresh flowers.
Not only can we watch old movies now, even current movies that normally would be showing in the theaters are available on many of the cable companies or streaming networks. If you are feeling anxious, lonely, or fearful, make selections to elevate your mood.
Take free courses currently being offered by some universities online. (Check out qz.com for more information.)
Museums across the nation are offering free virtual tours. (Check out CNN Style)
With the Internet, almost anything you can think of is available for you to enjoy at home. Take exercise classes, sound meditation classes, the list goes on and on. Get creative with what you would like to do and you are likely to find a website or YouTube video for just that activity. Check out Yoga Studio, Simply Yoga or Daily Yoga to name a few yoga apps.
Allow time for meditation or prayer each day. If you have never meditated and want to try it, there are plenty of techniques to learn involving various mediations online. Apps like Calm, Insight Timer, or The Mindfulness App offer a host of meditations.
If you are feeling depressed, lonely and afraid, reach out to a professional. If you have never been in therapy, most therapists are now offering online video sessions. Psychology Today has a website listing therapists in most states. The Georgia Mental Health Crisis Line is 800.755.8108. Remember, we all handle stress differently. Don’t blame or criticize yourself, it is a difficult time for everyone. Help is available.
Thoughts for Greater Self-Awareness
Being isolated can be challenging for many however, it also gives us the opportunity to become more aware of our thoughts. By noticing and becoming familiar with our thoughts, we not only develop personal growth, we develop greater insight, tolerance for self and others, and mental and emotional stability. Let’s look more closely.
Your thoughts affect your every mood, action, behavior, and interactions with others. They even have direct effect on your body. For example, have you ever thought to yourself, “I feel depressed today,” and then noticed that you feel even more depressed? Your body chemistry actually reacts to your thoughts. The depressed thought sends signals from your brain to every depressed receptor in your body affirming that indeed you do feel depressed. The good news is you have control over your thoughts.
Whenever you realize a negative thought has come in, change it to a positive thought. There is good and bad in everything. If you are thinking of only the bad, try to go deeper and find the good underneath that bad. Every time you catch yourself with a negative thought, just like wearing a rubber band on your wrist and pinching yourself with it, switch your thoughts. Even if it is simple statement like, “I will be happy today,” just change the thought pattern.
Notice the fleeting nature of thoughts. The thought you just had is now gone. Thoughts are bits of energy. They are only thoughts. Thoughts do not need to control you. By becoming aware of your thoughts, you begin to evaluate them more closely and realize the impermanence of their nature, giving them less significance.
Try not to worry. Worry never solved any problem. Worry only brings in negative energy and is a downward spiral. Worry goes hand-in-hand with anxiety. In order to control the worry and anxiety, get underneath to expose your real fears? You may have already addressed your some of your fears without realizing it. For example, you may have a fear of catching the COVID virus, but if you are following closely the guidelines, then you are already doing all you can do. Figure out which of your worries you can do something about. What actions can you take to address each worry? Other worries maybe totally out of your control. Try to let go of those. Trust that with time, these problems will work out. In other words, bring to consciousness your inner most fears. What can you do about each one? Let go of what you cannot change trusting that a solution will come to you. Again, when negative, fearful, or apprehensive thoughts arise, replace them with positive thoughts, such as reassurances that you are taking all necessary steps.
Check your attitude. Take an inventory of yourself. Are you usually taciturn, grumpy or sullen? If so, where did you learn that attitude? Maybe your father or your mother was grumpy, critical or seemingly unhappy. Just because they lived like that, doesn’t mean you have to. You can change now. After all, what fun is it to live life full of unhappiness? Try to be less critical of yourself. Being gentle and kind to yourself will allow you to be more gentle and kind to others.
Focus on gratitude and appreciation. Even if it is the smallest thing, try to find things or people you are grateful for. By doing so, you are changing that negative energy into positive energy.
Find your inner anchor. We all have a soft spot inside. It is always calm and serene. It is always there. It is our anchor. It only takes us recognizing it and going to it to become familiar with it. As you go through your day, remember to go back to that soft spot. It is like the eye of the hurricane. The turbulent winds cease inside. We may know that we have to go back out into the storm, but by remembering the peace inside of you will help maintain a sense of calm.
Reevaluate your priorities in your life. Is your life filled with certain behaviors, or activities that you are no longer doing and to which you need not return? Be your own self-observer. Look back to what preoccupied your mind when your life was “normal”. Now is a good time to let go of those behaviors and/or activities, which were not in your best interest.
Reach out to a professional if you need help. Most therapists are now available for telephone or videoconference meetings. A national Crisis Text Line (crisistextingline.org) is available for emotional support. Simply text HOME to 741741 to connect with a crisis counselor. Georgia also has a Mental Health Crisis Line at 800.755.8108. This national crisis will impact each individual differently. You are not alone. Help is available.
Considerations for Living in Your Household
Things to Do
If you are isolated with a few close friends or family members, find fun in doing things together.
If you are isolated with a few close friends or family members, find fun in doing things together.
Play board games, charades, or cards.
Invite all household members to participate in the cleaning and organizing of the living spaces your share. Children may feel relief at helping to learn to wash their bed linens and make their beds rather than leaving everything for Mom or Dad.
Teach children new skills. Perhaps you have a hobby that you can share with your child. Sharing cooking and baking is always fun for children, and adults!
If you have a yard, spring is a great time to garden. If your city is not in strict shelter-in-place mode, your local nursery may be open. Some grocery stores carry flowers and herbs ready to be placed in the ground or in pots. Plant an herb garden or pull weeds. If you live in an apartment, you might place a plant on a window ledge or in a sunny spot.
Walk, run, or bike in uncrowded spaces or parks. If you don’t have sidewalks in your neighborhood, many streets are less busy with cars. One of our city golf courses was closed to golfers, but open to walkers, runners, and bikers. Other golf courses are open to golfers carrying their bags and walking. Sosebee Cycling Park in Bartow County, just north of Atlanta, is a private park allowing cycling with bathrooms, water, and even an air pump.
Check out the Internet for virtual tours of museums that parallel children’s studies or interests. Watch family movies. Read with the entire family or read to children individually. (Again, see CNN Style on the Internet for listings.)
Thoughts for Greater Self-Awareness
Phil, the grumpy Groundhog weatherman, started changing his day when he became conscious of those around him and began taking an interest in them. He became inquisitive about their interests, their thoughts, and what activities they enjoyed. An older gentleman who was a widower after a 50 plus year marriage, once shared with me that there was so much about his wife that he had not asked her and he was sorry because is was too late. Don’t let time run out, take an interest in those you love.
Patience is key while we are closed in with others. Patience with yourself as well as those around you. Remember you are all in it together. At any moment in the day, someone you love or care about may be having a tough time and may be lashing out in ways that you aren’t used to or don’t understand. Try to remember that this is temporary. If you can remain open and kind, it sets a loving and kind tone for the entire family.
Try to remain positive. When someone else is having his or her moment, try to turn the moment toward something positive. Try to be light without trivializing that person.
Laughing is great medicine. If you can remain happy in the most uncertain of times, it will go a long way to help those around you. Happiness is contagious – even six feet apart!
It is okay to need alone time. Find a space where you can be alone from the rest of the family if you need it for periods of time.
Try to give others space. Each of you may need separate space for work, virtual school or whatever your family’s activities are for the day. Ideally, you each would have your own designated space to conduct work, school or business.
Be respectful of your family members and/or roommates.
Try to enjoy each other. One child told his mother, he liked the Coronavirus because he had more time with her. Enjoy this brief time and make the most of it.
Considerations for You in the Greater Community
Things To Do
“Really,” you might be thinking? “How can I get involved in my community while in isolation?” Right now is actually a great time to be more involved because many folks are looking for and creating opportunities for connection. Through the connection of the Internet, there are numerous ways to be involved locally and even globally. Allow your special interests and new ideas to guide you.
Start by checking in with neighbors. Do they have the necessary supplies? Do they need help? Share with neighbors where and when certain supplies can be found since there usually is a limit of 1-per customer.
Ask neighbors to join you in outside activities while maintaining the six-foot distancing recommendation. One friend orchestrated an outside dance aerobics group with several of her neighbors. Another called asking for a six-foot coffee date.
Check out your neighborhood website or check out Nextdoor, an app for neighborhoods to join collectively. If your neighborhood does not have an organization or a platform for communication, perhaps you could get one started. Those are great ways to stay connected to what is going on with your neighbors from, what restaurants are offering take out, where to find certain necessary supplies, or organizing volunteers, self-help groups, or other various online meetings.
Organize neighbors to check on the elderly, the disabled, or others who may need assistance at this time. For example, one neighbor who was isolated after traveling needed an important document mailed and another neighbor was happy to help out. Do some neighbors need meals delivered?
Volunteer organizations are popping up to meet the needs of children who normally depend on school lunches, and are providing lunches to those children in their neighborhood.
One of my favorite restaurants, announced the day after it learned it had to close, that money was being taken up to help support its staff during the closure. In less than 24 hours, $50,000 was raised.
Thoughts for Greater Self-awareness
Everything is temporary. This period of isolation will not last forever. Try to use this time to better understand yourself. You may not know what your future holds; use this time to create your vision of your “new normal”.
You are not alone. If you need help, there are others around you who want to help. Ask for help. I read once that our angels want to help but cannot do so without our permission to intervene. All you have to do is ask your angels to help you.
Initially, Grumpy Groundhog Day Phil began to change when he started showing interest in others, even if only superficially. As he opened up more, he actually started caring about others and really wanting to make a difference in their lives. He finally broke the repetition of his day when he opened his heart and began loving another person. Love broke the monotony of Phil’s life, bringing joy, vulnerability, spontaneity, and much more.
How many times have you felt your life to be monotonous and repetitive day after day? Right now we all are being forced to create new routines in new settings. Change on the outside often requires us to change on the inside or it can deepen the rut of old behaviors. The choice is ours. Do we want to open our hearts and seek more love and happiness, or do we want to continue down our worn path? Perhaps given this prolonged, global break in our usual activities, we will shift our consciousness, and return to our “normal” life, a little less self-absorbed, kinder, more compassionate and more loving.
Resources
Apps for Meditation: Calm, Insight Timer, The Mindfulness App, and Headspace, to name a few
Apps for Yoga: Yoga Studio, Simply Yoga, Daily Yoga, Glo, and Pocket Yoga to name a few; Also, check out YouTube for yoga videos.
Virtual tours of Museums: CNN Style
Free University Courses: qz.com
Mental Health Resources:
Georgia Mental Health Crisis Line 800.755.8108
Crisis Text Line (crisistextingline.org), type HOME to 741741
Psychology Today website for listings of Mental Health Professionals in your state